Maybe
by secretlycharmed14
Summary: Harry is sinking into the overwhelming darkness. Can anybody save him? Or will he sink lower without anyone knowing his pain? Rated M for a reason. Selfharm, abuse, thoughts of suicide, and cursing.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. In fact I don't even own a car!

This is oneshot..I will continue if enough people wish me to.  
Warnings: This does contain self-harm, thoughts of suicide, and abuse.

Harry stood on the corner of Privet Drive. Letting the comforting cold wind blow past his numb body. The heavy metal knife like a dead-weight in his pocket. The same knife Sirius Black his Godfather had given him. Currently his Godfather was watching him from the bushes. Wondering what his Godson was doing. Standing on the corner in plain sight. He was about to get out of his hiding place to talk to the young teen, when the teen in question began walking across teh street. Coninuing on his never-ending stroll.

Harry walked slowly and steadily. His heart beating slowly along with his delibaret footsteps. He knew Sirius was on guard tonight. He knew Sirius was watching his every step. He didn't care.

Sighing Harry thought back on his miserable life at the Dursleys since school had started.His life was full of pain. Never-ending pain. Being beated physically, and mentally. His mind bruised almost as much as his body. His wrists held a ladder of pain relivers. Cut after red scabby cut. Each a sign of letting his pain flow like the red tears that shed from his wrist intead of his broken face.

Every summer had been the same. Arriving from School. Doing chores, writing letters, recieving letters, and being beaten. Until something happened at school before he left. Cedric Diggory had died. Right in front of Harry.

It was Harry's fault of course. He had debated with the boy until he decided they would both grab the cup at the same time. Harry surrvived the revival of Voldemort. Cedric didn't. Because Voldemort was back security had been doubled around Harry. Instead of one guard there were two. Mundungus was supposed to be with Sirius but he was missing. Probably selling stolen cauldrons. The worst thing to Harry about this lock down was being cut off from the Wizarding World. Dumbledore had taken Hedwig away. Saying Harry would get her back when School was back in. Harry was on lock down. Supposedly to protect him.

In The End it just pushed Harry farther back into the overwhelming darkness. Walking past the deserted swings at the park Harry continued walking. His feet leading him. His mind no longer working properly. Thus Harry had been walking for at least two hours and Sirius was getting worried. Harry was leaving his boundries. Correction. Harry had left his boundries a half-hour ago.

Walking up to the teen Sirius appeared at his side casually. "Harry. You left the boudnries." He informed him gently. Harry continued walking. "Hey. Kiddo. Stop for a sec." Sirius said concernedly. Putting a hand on Harry's departing shoulder to stop him. Turning him around to face himself, Sirius lifted his chin with his index finger. "What's wrong?"

All Harry did was look at Sirius. His eyes blank of emotion or recognition. Before answering him Harry stepped back away from Sirius's touch.

"Everything. Is wrong. Everything is fucked up." Harry answered before turning around and walking back to the Dursleys. His head bent once again. But this time he was ready. Ready to add another step to his ladder of pain. Maybe this could be the final step. Maybe Harry could finally get away from this hell-hole. Maybe.

If you want me to continue I will. If enough people review.  
This is for Cassie, Genevive, and Alexa.  
-secretlycharmed13 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own happy-go-lucky Harry...I sort of own this HArry though. The one that finally realized the world could crumble at his feet if he didn't win the war. If he did..eternal glory..If he doesn't...

READ: I had to redo this chapter cause my last one wasn't quite descriptive of Sirius's feelings. Thanks to a reviewers comment! AGAIN! I LOVE PEOPLE WHO REVIEW!

"Harry wait!" Sirius called after the young teen. In response Harry began running. His slim form a streak in the wind.

Sirius was flabbergasted. Harry had looked so hurt so vulnerable. He knew it was hard for the boy. After all Sirius knew what it was like to be cut off from the wizarding world. His godson had just told him that something was wrong. Right in his face. He had cused also! Were did that come from? Since when did Harry curse, at him none the less.

"Padfoot..What are you doing out here?" Remus brought him out of his thoughts.

"Is it a shift change already?" Sirius answered with another question.

"Yeah. Five minutes ago." Remus answered. "Whats wrong?" Moony questioned adding a hint of concern to his voice.

"Harry. He was walking out here. When I confronted him about crossing the boundries he didn't answer. When I asked him what was wrong he said everything is fucked up." Sirius said. Noticing Remus raise his eyebrows at the cusing word.

"Something is defiantly wrong. did he go back to the Dursleys?" Remus asked. When Sirius nodded his head Remus sighed with relief. At least he wasn't running away. "Okay. You go back to headquarters and contact Dumbldore. I think Harry needs to be removed from the Dursleys, If they are causing this then he needs to leave." Always to man with the right answeres Remus took charge. Sirius nodded his head then with one last look at the know deserted street Apparated away with a 'POP'. Still trying to rid himself of the image of his godson's face.

RLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRL Remus Lupin was curious as to why Harry's mood had changed so much. Walking by Tonks he gave he a quick message.

"I'm going to see Harry. Just to make sure he's okay." He whispered before walking up to the doorstep of number four Privet Drive and boudly ringing the Door bell.

"Hello?" The deep rumble of Vernon Durslye opened the door. After seeing who it was he pulled Remus in the house by the collar.

"What do you want you freak! Risking what the neighborhood thinks of us by showning up on our doorstep!" He boomed. Around the mass of spitting rage Remus saw Dudley watching the tely like nothing was happening and Petunia was watching with lips pursed in anger.

"I have come to see Harry." Remus said. His voice steady and visibly resting his hand on his wand as a subtle threat.

"Well he's upstairs in his room. The little freak stays up there all day. Playing with that stick of his." Vernon answered his beedy eyes watching the wand closely. Making sure to bring his voice down and keep his tone as polite as he could.

"Will you call him down?" Remus asked. He expected Harry to play wiht his wand. All underaged wizards did. Dreaming of the day they could cast spells outside of school without getting in trouble. Wanting to see Harry in person and not in some small dirty excuse for a room.

"Of. Course." Vernon grounded out. Feeling humiliated for having to be polite to this Freak of nature. "BOY! COME DOWN HERE!" He yelled. He had to be nice to this fellow but the boy would pay when he left. That was for sure.

To Remus' relief Harry came down the stairs. His face hollowed slightly and had lately adapted a grim expression. His old clothes seemed to fit looser of his slender frame and a heavy old sweater was over his tee shirt. Covering his wrists and his lader of pain. Which had grown by a few rungs last night. Seeing Remus Harry offered a small smile. Staying on the platform of the stairs. Still a good foot or three away from him.

"Hello Harry, how are you doing?" Remus asked adding concern to his voice. Vernonn quickly growing bored wtih the conversation went back to the living room and sat down. Not listening to the tely but listening to the boy talk. If he said anything about Vernon hurting him he was ready to pound him to death. Guardian or not.

"Fine sir. Thank you." Harry answered quietly. Staying up on the platform. Safely away from Remus.

"Harry. How may times do I have to tell you. It's Moony or Remus." Lupin stated exaspartedly. "Come down here. Let me see you in the light." He asked. In truth Harry was standing partly in the shadows.

Harry hesitantley stepped forward for Remus to see. Feeling like a animal on show. "Si...Moony. What's wrong. No offense but why are you here?" Harry asked. The same expression on his face.

Remus himself wasn't happy with the boys appearence. He was smaller than ever, gaunt, and seemed to have a never ending hole boring through his eyes. But behind that hole Remus saw hurt and something he couldn't recgonize.

"I just came to see you. You gave Sirius quite a start flying off at him like that. I think you may be grounded for your language when you go back to Grimmauld." Remus stated chuckling.

"So. Who cares." Harry stated adding slight anger to his features. Of course he was only here because Harry had cursed. Why come to visit him. Why come to take him away from this hell-hole. Why not send Sirus here in stead. He was right. Nobody cared. They just wanted him to be the perfect mannered pawn in their game. A poor boy who would be kept in the dark until he needed to fight for himslef.

"HArry I-"

"Never mind. I'm really tired so I will see you later. Tell everybody I said to fuck off." Harry answered cutting remus of in mid sentence then running up the stairs. Ignoring Moony's calls to him. Tonight would be the night. The night he may be ready to leave the world. If not there would be a large increase of steps on his ladder. He would open old wounds. MAke them deaper. Make him bleed his pain more. Maybe he could finally erase it if he bled enough.

"Harry?" But the boy was gone. Rmeus had not missed the anger that had flashed in his eyes. Neither had he missed the hurt. He certainly hadn't missed the language either. What had happened to the Harry Potter he knew. Remus considered following the boy up the stairs but he thought better. Let him cool off and then come back with Sirius. Remus decided. Letting himself out.

As Remus was walking back to his post a thought stopped him dead. He fianlly realized what was wrong. Of course. Harry was cut off from his friends, family, from his only place were he felt welcome. The wizarding world. He was sad, hurt, even angry. No. Really angry. Remus knew why he had fired off. Harry Potter was suffering from depression. A deep depression and by the looks of it. Unfortunatley. Even he didn'd know how to pull him out of it. A pit grew in his stomch. Spreading to his arms and coveing his body. He flet helpless. He didn't know what to do to help teh poor boy. Then again. Who did know how to deal with this. People chose to ignore it mostly. Right then and there though Remus vowed to help his Harry. He would save him. He would.

Little did the weewolve know that right then Harry was sinking deeper into the darkness. Slicing deeper scars. Opening old and making new. No longer knowing whether it was blood or tears dripping from his body. Then again what was the difference. They both shed pain, both felt like nothing, and both showed just how far Harry Potter was sinking.  
There you go..a remake of chapter two..was it better? I am trying to make them longer belive me!  
-Thank you to my reviewers!  
xxBrokenxxAngelxx, Gossipchick, morwen24, twentyonenine!  
Thanks you guys!  
-secretlycharmed13 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I can't own you. Nobody can own the thoughts and reams of another.

This Chappy may be a little short and more depressing. I have lost my sister. Not a sister by blood. She was closer, a sister by Heart. I will love you forever Brooklyn. And I swear to god I will kill that bastard in the other fuckin car. I swear it.

Harry was once again passed out on his bed. He had shed more blood this time. Maybe it's becasue he was finally breaking down, maybe because he learned that nobody cared about him finally, or maybe because he was coming closer to the end and he could feel it. Maybe it was all these reasons combined.

"Boy! Come do these dishes!" The sharp slurred words from his drunken five hundred pound Uncle rang in the dark desolate room. Falling on unhearing ears. Harry was in his own world. Surrounded by the familiar comforting darkness, that was begginning to rule his waking and sleeping hours. Then again to him what was the difference. "BOY!" Vernon called again. His temper flaring dangerously. He thundered up the stairs. His collosel feet seeming to make a dent in the carpet covered hardwood floor. Becoming dangerously close. "FREAK!" He called ripping the door of Harry's room open. Ignoring the handle and just plowing in the door. Making the wooded wall crash on the floor. Hitting Harry's still frame on the bed.

This finally woke the boy. He groggily looked at his uncle. Not shocked or at least surprised just blank. No emotion showed on the teens face. No fear or Anger. Just empty hollowed eyes looked at Vernon. This seemed to only enrage the man for some reason. His drunk mind losing all reason. A slow virus devoring his reminder not to hurt the boy to bad that it would show. He pounded Harry. Kicked, punched, whipped, battered, and sliced the boy into oblivion. "Never Ignore me AGAIN!" He screamed spit flying everywere. Harry just looked at him as if he wasn't there. The whole time showing no pain. Not even a wince.

Harry was numb as if he was watching this small, gangly, sad looking, gaunt teen from another place being beat by this monster. When Harry returned back to his bruised body he still felt no pain for the first few seconds. Then the thundering useless reality hit him. Screaming Harry curled up in his meager excuse of a matress. Trying to protect his body from his Uncle who was long gone. Harry screamed again and again. No longer caring who heard him. Not caring if the Monster came back.

He actually hoped somebody heard him for once. Finally heard the screaming he had silenced for days, weeks, months, and years. The screaming that he had muted, the sound that became his silent pain that never ended.

Shacklebolt was the first to hear the screaming. Jolting awake he tried to sense were the sound was coming from. Looking from deserted house to deserted house. His eyes landing on the Dursleys. The lights were out except for a flicker of light in the farthest room from the street. The window with the bars on it. Harry's room. The horrid sound was coming from Harry's room. Something had gone terribly wrong.

"This is Shacklebolt! Somethings wrong!" He hurridly whispered into the small ring on his finger. A product made by Sirius and Remus to easily transmit messages to each other.

"Were coming!" Was the immediate response. Kingsley couldn't tell who it was but began running towards the house. The screaming had stopped with a halt. It was know earliy quiet. That was worse. Something, or someone had silenced the boy quickly.

Harry screamed until a thought struck him. Why? Why scream. Nobody heard him. It didn't heal his pain nearly as fast as his ladder does. Why? Why was he here, on this earth in this hell hole. Was he born to suffer. Was he only made so he could slowly kill himslef, to live in this kingdom of pain, to only see the light when doing outside chores. Was that his only reason for living. No.

He had Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Sirius, Remus, and tons more that loved him. Or did they? Nobody had tried to contact him. Nobody had tried to talk to him while he was walking outside. Nobody had sent him anything on his birthday. That was the only day Dumbledore had let down the guards. Why hadn't anyone sent anything. Did they not know the guards were down for a full houtr that day. No he had told them himself. Even Sirius and Remus had been on some secret mission during his birthday. They weren't at their posts. Only Shacklebolt and Tonks were and they completly ignored him as they were supposed to. Harry wondered if they were no longer acting. What if they actually wanted to ignore him. What if he had become the useless pawn in their game of War. The obedient boy who never raised an upraor. The obedient puppy.

Harry sneered as the front door banged open. He knew the Dursleys were awake when he heard his mound of fat Uncle running and bellowing down the stairs.

"Were is he." Sirius asked his eyes ablaze his cloak flailing in the wind let in by the open door. His grey eyes shinning with red hot anger. His wand pressing into the man. Poking into the flubbery fat that was on the man. Like a bad fungus.

"Do you mean the boy?" Vernon squeaked his brave face gone quickly by looking at the man who had visited earlier and one more strange woman with pink hair that was spiked. Both with death in their eyes and both pointing their wooden sticks at him.

"Of course we mean Harry! Now. Were. Is. He." Srius grounded out. Poking Vernon sharply at each word. Vernon Dursley winced. The boy wasn't healed and still visibly showed the bruises he had inflicted. Damn.

"The boy is right here." A voice from behind said. Vernon visibly twitched. As soon as he moved aside he would be dead.

"Are you alright. Kingsley heard screaming." Tonks said. Rushing past the enraged but concerned Sirus and the Uncle to Harry who was sitting on the stair steps.

"I'm fine." Harry said coldly. Of course they only came again because he had caused an uproar. This time Sirius winced. Harry had taken that tone again. He had heard from Remus what had happened earlier and was worried.

"Om my God." Tonks gasped. Saying Lumos she saw Harry for the first time. He looked like hell. His shirt was tattered. Dried blood caked the parts of his body not covered by a bruise or cut or whip mark. His face wasn't swollen but he had a bad black eye. His ribs were showing through the bleeding cuts. His forehead was cut open. He still wore a heavy sweatshirt but Tonks was sure that under that sorry excuse for a sweater was more cuts, bruises and possibly a broken bone or two. The one thing that caught her eye the most was Harry's eyes. They were blank. He should be in visible pain but his tone was cold steady and emotionless. His eyes held the same thing. Blank of emotion. Black pits swirled with once a sparkling green. Know just a dull color to the swirl of black his eyes had become. Harry Potter had been broken.

"What Ton-" Remus was about to say as Sirius forced the Uncle into the living room. Tying him to the chair and casting a silencing charm on him. Remus saw Harry and cut off his question. "Oh God Harry. Are you okay?" He asked his face cull of undenying concern as eh looked at teh boy critically. 

"Do I look the fuck okay?" Harry asked his voice sharp and cold once again. Remus closed his eyes for a few seconds and opened them when Sirus gave a strangled breath.

"Harry." Sirus whispered coming up in front of Harry tilting his head up into the light of Tonks's still ember glowing wand gently. Harry hissed. Wether it was in pain or having the light in his sensitive eyes Sirius didn't know but Harry wrenched his head out of Sirius's grasp and turned to face the wall. Ignoring the adults. Sirius looked worridely at Remus. Then back to Harry. He was still facing the wall.

"Headquarters." Remus mouthed. Sirius was about to respond when a slow thumping stopped him. Looking behind Remus for the sorce of the sound he realized it was coming from behind him. Harry was slowly hitting his head against the wall. What little he could see of his face was blank. No pain or show of any feeling of hitting the wall. This scared Sirius more than anything.

Slowly Harry started hitting the wall. Hoping to start bleeding. He knew his knife was upstairs lying under his pillow. The closest thing he had was the wall. He closed his eyes. The slow drumming of coming into contact lulling him. He didn't feel it. That discouraged him. Even more than when he felt strong arms grabbing him away from the wall and heard the distant voice of his godfather call.

"Harry! What are you doing?" Sirius asked. He was only talking normally but to Harry if felt like screaching. He had a headache. No a migraine. At least some pain came from that.

"Don't touch me." Harry said. Wretching out of Sirus's gasp and standing up. No longer hearing the crys from the adults ot the drum of their feet as they ran after him. Following him out the door. Harry smiled a small sad smile. He had a bunch of puppies following him. Maybe they cared. No. Nevermind. They just don't want to lose their innocent boy. Harry snorted. Yeah right innocent. He had lost his inncocnce when he had begun hs ladder, at the tender pain filled age of ten. He was fifteen now.

"Harry wait. Stop kiddo." Sirius said grabbing Harry's shoulder and gently turning the non-responsive teen to face him. "Harry?" He asked. "What's going on?" Sirus asked this time looking right into his eyes. Shuddering at what they had become.

Harry broke then. How could they keep asking that question when the answer was staring at them straight in the face. Harry laughed an insane laugh of a lost lonely boy.

"You want to know what's wrong? Everything. My life is fucked up worse than ever. My Uncle beats me night and day, You ignore me, Forget about me, and only come to see me when I have done something that the poor innocent savior of the freakin wizarding world does something WRONG! I live in a screwed up neighborhood with people who think I am a CRIMINAL! NOBODY Gives a damn if I rot in hell! I have dealt with more then you could ever know and you aske me whats WRONG?" Harry screamed making Remus and Tonks who were standing behind Sirius jump in surprise. Sirius on the other hand. Stood there taking to assault from him. Never flinching or moving. His eyes trained on Harry's. Watching the flow of emotion there. Anger, Sadness, Lonelyness, hatred, and most of all confusion.

Sirius was brought out of his shock at the pain in his stomach. He looked down to see Harry punching him. Weak punches, but punches of pain. Sirius let him for a few seconds then grabbed his bruised wrists gently and held them so he would stop.

Harry began punching hims. Trying to make him feel his pain. Holding the tears threatening his eyes back forcefully. Refusing to let them fall. Refusing to let them begin. Refusing to let them be the leak of his pain. Refusing to belive that just letting them fall could heal him. Not physically but mentally. Not healed all the way but healed enough to stop his addiction. His addiction to doing something that he knew wasn't right. Soemthing that could destroy him. Soemthing that had already destroyed most of him.  
Was that long enough? If not tell me and it shall be longer. This was a night for me.  
Loss of a friend. This story is dedicated to her. She didn't have this problem. But she always knew the cure for the ones who did,. She was kind nice and didn't deserve to go in that much pain. This is for Brooklyn.  
-secretlycharmed13 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own this. I don't own anything. Not even my life.

Harry's mind was a whirl-wind of pain. He was punching Sirus with his fists trying to make him feel his pain.

"Harry? Stop." Sirus said gently and calmy grabbing Harry's wrist. Harry immediatley stopped. Not looking at him. Not letting the tears fall. Never letting anyone see his internal pain. Never letting anyone in the fortress he had built around his mind. Never was starting to change though. Never was forming into maybe. Maybe scared Harry, scared him to death.

"Harry? Are you ready to go home?" Remus asked. His voice gentle. He reached over to put a hand on Harry's shoulder but Harry flinched away. Trying to move away from Remus brought him closer to Sirius. He didn't mind this. The easier it was to play the innocent abused child was the better.

"Shh. Lets go get you stuff Kiddo." Sirius said. Grabbing Harry and lifting him up. Cradling Harry in his arms. Harry put his arms aroung Sirius neck and nestled his head in Sirius's chest. Enjoying the comfort. Making sure is ladder was still hidden. Making sure his secret was hidden from these people who could penetrate his sanctuary of pain.

Remus looked at Sirius. He wan'st hurt by Harry's response. Just concerned. Sirius shook his head. Telling him he didn't know why Harry had done that.

Tonks led the way to the Dursleys. Sirius held Harry tightly. Trying to give all his love through his touch. When they entered the Dursleys, Tonks charmed the whole family. Elimenating the distraction they formed. Putting them all under a magical sleep.

"Is there anything you want buddy?" Sirius asked Harry gently. They had packed all the obvious stuff in his trunk and had shrunk it.

Harry's eyelids were drooping dangerously. By the time they had reached the Dursleys he was half asleep. Hearing Sirus voice he thought of only one thing. His pain reliver. "Pillow." Harry murmered sleepily.

When Remus picked up the pillow Sirius saw what was underneath the pillow. The knife he had given Harry. "Why does he have a knife under there?" Tonks asked her cousin.

"Probably protection from his Uncle. Take it with you. Lets go." Sirius aid dissmising the matter imediatley. Harry was smart for that bit of protection.

Unfortunatley Sirius didn't know that that wasn't for protection. If only he knw what Harry used it for he would take it away imediatley. It was almost Ironic. Harry used something someone who loved him more than anyone ever had to cause himself pain. Never ending numbing pain.

"Where do we take him?" Remus asked as Sirius pulled an old marker out his pocket. Still holding Harry easily. The teenager was to light for his own good.

"Safe House. Tonks go to HQ and tell them everything. Tell them we have taken HArry to a safe place and he will return soon." Sirius said. Before Tonks could say anything Sirius, Harry, and Remus were gone in a puff of blue smoke.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP "Hey Kiddo. Wake up." Sirus said setting Harry on his be in teh new cottage.

They were in the middle of a large forest. Surrounded by trees and beautiful blue sky. The cottage from the outside looked samll. On the inside though it held Five Bedrooms, Seven bathrooms, A living room, A kitchen, and in the back yard was a Quidditch court. By order of Sirius of course. Each room was large with a four-poster bed and a bathroom attached. The bathroom had large jacuzzi tub with assorted bubble baths from all around the world. Sirius and Remus had worked on this hard. Really hard. They were here working on Harry's birthday. They had wanted to bring Harry here on his birthday but Dumbledore wouldn't allow it. So they had disapered on Harry's birthday for no reason.

"No, tired." Harry said. Rolling over again.

"Fine. Sleep but when you wake up we have to talk."Remus said genlty but commanding. Harry needed help. His Uncle had beat him and the boy was trying to make it go away. Trying to leave it inside of him. Trying to make nobody realize he was hurting. Remus didn't know how much Harry Potter was hurting though. He had no idea.

Harry slept through the day. When it was midnight he woke up a little. Looking around he tried to realize were he was. The Safe House is what Sirius had called it. They had finally taken him away from the Dursleys. He had to be beaten, broken, and unemotional but they finally did it. God the bastards. Harry thought reaching around for his trunk. He found it. Sifting through it's contents he found no knife. 'SHIT!' He cursed mentally. Tonks had his knife. Sirius had her take it. "DAMNIT" He whispered harshly. Almost hissing. His pain reliver was gone. He was alone with Sirius and Remus with no way to vent. His pain was going to become worse. He would steal a knife from the kitchen. He would do that now. He would save his pain.

Thus Harry James Potter walked quietly down to the kitchen. Never did he realize that he was no longer doing his ladder to have the flow of relief. He ws addicted to a deadly drug. He was addicted to his own pain. His own blood. His own demise.  
There...this is for all who ahve not reveiwed, but have read this story.  
REVIEW! Now I am getting discouraged, Please review soon...or later..either one.  
-secretlycharmed13 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Who can own your thoughts, your dreams, your feelings, your secret sanctuary.

"Hey...wake up Kiddo." Sirius said. Sitting on the edge of Harry's bed and brushing a peice of hair of his forehead gently.

"hmm." Harry groaned. Obviously not wanting to wake up anytime soon.

"Come on Harry. It's noon time to wake up." Sirius said being a little more forcefull this time. He would be glad to let the teen sleep, but Remus reminded him that Harry had to get a normal schedule and they had to talk.

"Fine." Harry siad quietly. Sitting up on his elbows he saw the fuzzy picture of Sirius on his bed. 'Damn weres the knife?' Harry asked himself slightly panicking. Then let an inner sigh of relief when he remembered putting it under his pillow. Sitting up more he grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. Bad Move.

"Harry...whats that on you arm?" Sirius asked seeing the small red cuts going up and down his arm.

"The Dursleys new cat likes to scratch. I had to take care of him. He doesn't like people touching him. Bad thing when I have to pick him up to move him outside." Harry asnwered easily. He had worked on this lie so many times he was surprised at how easy it was to lie to Sirius.

"Oh..Ouch." Sirius said shrugging of the strange feeling he had that Hary was lieing to him.

"Yeah..Ouch is right." Harry said. Bringing his legs over on the other side of the bad and wincing as they hit the cold floor. Harry looked around to see that he was in a plush room. It was larger than the living room at the Dursleys, and had plenty of bookcases, chests, and a dresser.

"Your clothes are in there. Be down in the kitchen when your done. The bathrooms right over there." Sirius said angling his head towards a door. "See-ya soon buddy." Sirius said. Nodding his head at Harry and departing closing the door softly after him.

Harry sighed a sigh of relief. He was almost caught. All his hard work to hide his pain would have ceased to exist. He would probably be more of a burden if they knew. He didn't want them to hate him. Standing up stiffly he walked to the bathroom and gasped as he saw the large room. It was huge. The sink had three faucets. One for soap one for hot water, and one for cold. The tub was a Jacuzzi. It had many different faucets that were labled with different bubble bath names. The shower was separet from the bath and took up almot half the room it was large and had several faucets coming from the walls. Everything was large and looked immensly expensive.

Harry walked quietly to the tub and started the hot water. Adding a small amount of cold water so is wasn't scolding. He also turned the knob that read 'Berry Bubbly Bath Botanicle.' It gave a fruity refreshing scent. After Harry was sure the tub was filling he walked back into the room and searched through his belongings they had found, finding at the bottom Dudley's mini Ipod he had stolen a while ago. The stupid git had forgotten about it a while ago. Walking back to the tub he stopped the water, stripped himself of the bloody, dirty, and tattered clothing gently. Wincing everytime a peice of cloth rubbed against his many cuts and bruises. Putting the earbuds into his ears he turned the music on full blast. Drowning out all foreign sounds. The shrill voice of his favortie artist Evanescence blasted in his ears. Cleasing his mind of all thoughts. Stepping caustiously into the water he gasped as if hit his bruises and cuts but still sank lower until his whole body was submerged in the hot fresh fruity water. Harry ignored the pain and focused on Evanescence.

After listening to six songs from various artist Harry finally got out of the tub. Wrapping a towel around his waist he looked through the cupboards. Puttibg down the Ipod and searching for medicasl supplies. Finding a few he cleaned his cuts and wrapped his right wrist in a tight wrap. It was the one thing that throbbed the most.

Walking into his room he searched through the drawers brimming with clothes until he found black pants that were slighly baggie enough so they wouldn't rub against his cuts, that hurt a considerable amount less. A plain white tee shirt that fit okay. The first thing he had warn in a while that fit perfect. A black hooded sweatshirt and finally a apair of socks and new tennis shoes he found in his closet.

Walking into the bathroom he found a tooth brush and toothpaste and scrubbed vigously at his teeth for ten long minutes, after repeating this process again he tried to comb his hair but it wasn't coparating as usual. Making sure he was clean, his cuts were coverd, and his wrist wrap was tigh he walked out of his room and down the hallway desending the stairs slwoly.

"What took you so long?" Sirius asked. His voice taking a mock annoyance tone. Harry just smiled a small smile and sat down.

"Here. Eat up. Molly is coming with Ron and Hermione in a few days. She will want to see you plump and fat." Remus joked. Harry's eyes darkened. He didn't want to see them. He didn't want to talk to them. They didn't exist as far as he knew.

"Harry?" Sirius asked across from him. Seeing the young teens face darken.

"Where were you guys?" Harry asked his eyes downcast but his voice adapting a cold anger.

"When?" Sirius asked hating Harry's tone.

"On. My. Birthday." Harry answered slowly fixing Sirius with a cold glare and his voice hard and angry.

"We were here fixing the house. We were going to bring you here for you birthday but Dumbledore said we couldn't. We are really sorry kiddo. Really sorry. As for Hermione and Ron maybe they didn't know about the hour time thing?." Sirius said trying to defend them.

"No." Harry siad laughing a hollow bark laugh that made Sirius and Remus who had sat down next to Harry visibly wince.

"I told them about the break. On the train ride home. Right before I had to leave for that hell hole. I remember saying that they could send things on my birthday. I remember Hermione promising that they would send everything. I remember Ron saying that Dumbldore made no sense making this ban." Harry said starging at both the adults so hard that they shifted uncomfortably.

"Well...ask them when they get here. Until then why don't I show you the quidditch pitch!" Sirius asked jumping up eagerly. Wanting to change the subject.

Harry seemed to think about this for a second them decided to follow Sirius out the back door and onto the pitch. Only after he left did Remus realize he hadn't even touched his food or drink. This was odd. Usually Harry ate everything he was handed. For some reason he hadn't eaten a bite.

"Lets Go!" Sirius said handing Harry his broom and grabbing a broom from the broom cupboard. Harry mounted his broom and pushed up towards the skies.

The wind rushed past his ears, his wet hair drying as the wind forced it to stream past his head. His eyes watered from the wind hitting them so fast but he didn't care. Pushing his broom up into and almost vertical slope he zoomed straight up until he was high over the trees then never missing a beat he turned around and shot straight down towards the ground. Hooting in happiness he waited until he was at least a foot away from the ground before easily pulling up the broom and leveling out. Only when he had stopped did he hear Sirius yelling.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!" Sirius yelled pulling up behind him. His face white with fear.

'oops.' Harry thought.

"Um..I wasn't?" Harry answered unsure. Sirius had never acted like this before.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU WERENT!" Sirius boomed back. Harry winced his voice reminding him far to much like his Uncles Harry's face turned white as a sheet.

"Sorry... Just don't do that again without warning me okay?" Sirius asked soflty and genlty. Mentally he was shocked by Harry's reaction. The boy was practically falling off his broom from fright. Harry nodded in consent then set off at a slower pace around the pitch.

For the next hour they played on the brooms. Finally getting Remus to play also they played tag, capture the snitch, and hide and go zoom(Use your imagination people!). When they were done it was dinner time.

"Harry aren't you hungry?" Sirisu asked as they entered the house Harry started walking up the stairs as Sirius and Remus walked into the kitchen.

"Not hungry." Harry answered then turned back around and walked up into the hallway. Harry felt to sick to eat. His stomach ached like mad and his body felt like collapsing. All he wanted to do was collapse on his bed and relive his pain. Which was exactly what he did. Listening cloesely for the sound of aproaching footsteps. Surprised when nobody followed him up the stair to force him to eat. After an hour he fell asleep his hand under his pillow grasping the knife for comfort. Letting him know he could control his pain. If not anything else he could control when he felt pain and how much.

"Let him go Padfoot. He must be tired. Let him have a good night's sleep then wake him up for a full breakfast." Remus said before Sirius could follow Harry up the stairs. Sirius just nodded his head. Not knowing that if he walked into his godson's room right then and there he probably could have realized and stop the young teens addiction. Unfortunatley he didn't and let his godson continue with his drug.

Review please

secretlycharmed13 


	6. Chapter 6

Here is a chappy for you guys!  
LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Harry sat on his bed. The clear reading on the alarm clock said it was 2:00 in the morning. He didn't care. His head was bent and his hair fell over his face, his pain filled emerald green eyes were downcast looking at his wrist. Sitting criss-cross on his large bed Harry Potter was the perfect image of vulnerablitity.

"They don't know." He choked out. Tears pooling in his once sparkling eyes.

"They'll never know." He said his voice letting go of the emotion he held. His fingers rubbing across his ladder. One mark for the first time his Uncle hit him, one for Dudleys birthday, and five for his missed birthday. The rest were unimportant. They were all meshing together, pain enveloping pain, slowly creating a wall around himself until nobody could save him. That's what he wan't after all. Right?

A creaking in the hall snapped him out of his trance. Who was there?

"Hello?" He whispered. Covering up his ladder and wiping away the tears roughly.

"Who's there?" He asked this time slightly louder. As the door started creaking open.

"Relax Harry, what are you doing up this late?" The familiar voice of Remus Lupin greeted the startled teen.

"I...I was just going to the bathroom. I was about to fall back asleep." Harry stuttered. It was hard to lie to this man. He didn't know why but it just seemed harder than to lie to Sirius.

"Oh. Okay then." Remus said beginning to close the door softly.

"Harry, you know that you can always talk to me or Sirius if you need to right? What you have been through shouldn't be bottled up. Are you sure you are okay?" Remus asked halting the door and asking the teen as Harry began to slip under the covers.

"Yeah I know professor." Harry said. Forcing a fake smile as he slipped under the covers and turned his back to his old professor. Closing his eyes tight waiting to hear the sound of the door closing.

"No. I don't think you do." Remus whispered soflty to himself before closing the door. He though Harry ahdn't heard him. Unfortunatley he was wrong.

"If you only knew." Harry whispered back. The professor was right. He didn't know. He knew nothing. That was why he could be consumed by the darkness so easily. He was weak and helpless. He was a nobody people trusted. He was suppoed to save the whole fuckin World. Hopefully he wouldn't have to.

((((((((((((())))))))))))))))WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Remus Lupin walked silently back to his room. Deep in thought. He had heard someone talking quietly in Harry's room after getting tea and had checked to see. The minute Remus made noise Harry pulled down his sleeve and put on a fake smile and lied to him. He lied so easily but Remus could tell the boy was faking. He had much to his dislike submissed the though and walked back to his room but know in the darkness of his room. In the darkness of his mind that he hadn't vistited since third year he remembered something that he knew was true all along. Harry was cutting himself just like he had in third year. Three things were different though. Remus had three best friends around to help him out, he wasn't the savior of the wizarding world, and Harry had sunk much deeper than he had ever dared to go. Harry had sunk down into the darkness, Remus didn't know what scared him more, the fact that Harry was this far gone, or that Harry had enterered the realm of darkness willingly.

WWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYPPPPOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEERRRYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"YOU THINK HE'S DOING WHAT!" Sirius yelled at Remus. They were in the study of the cottage and if not for the silence charm cast around them the whole forest would have been rudely woken up at 7:00 in the morning no thanks to Sirius.

"Sirius, you remember me in third grade? You remember how far I went. Harry has had alot happen to him. He may be trying to feel pain for once. Maybe he feels alone or abandoned or maybe he just wants to be in pain so he can't deal with life." Remus said. His voice calm compared to Sirius' pale face and stiff features.

"This is Harry were talking about, James' son. He IS strong and he wouldn't do this to himself. How dare you accuse him of these things Moony. You are supossed to protect him, not accuse him of slicing himself!" Sirius yelled his face changing from shock to anger. Standing up quickly he uncast the charm and stepped out into the hall towards the kitchen. He was going to prove Moony wrong. Harry was strong and Harry wasn't in depression.

Behind Remus shook his head saddly. Sirius would have to face the facts one way or another. Until then Remus would have to try to help Harry. Sirius would find out sooner or later. Remus just hoped it wasn't the hard way. Somehow he knew that, that was the only way Sirius would belive him though.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FOUR DAYS PAST!

Harry stared at the ceiling. He was lying on his back it had been four days and everything was great. He was flying everyday and had much to his dislike finished his homework, he had finally owled Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. They had owled back saying that they were eager to see him again. They were to be there in an hour. He wasn't particularly looking forward to their visit. It would only mean excuses he was supposed to belive. Harry had claimed to got to his room to nap. Instead he was thinking somethings over. Remus and Sirius had been very stiff and cross with each other for the past few days. Something was wrong but Harry didn't want to ask. I wasn't his buisness. The thing that bothered him most was that he hadn't added a rung for two days. He had even put the knife under his bed. No pain was afflicting him. Something else was though. Harry was addicted to cutting himself. He had known it forever but was just know realizing it. He was craving to feel his blood run down his arm, to feel the coldness of the blade across his skin, to see his crimson tears and not feel a anything, to finally be able to release any pain. The only thing was that Harry had no pain to release. It scared him, to not feel pain, to not feel lonley, to finally be feeling good things. He liked being numb and just six days with Sirius and Remus had taken that away. He was mad and glad in a way. It was weird and he was confused.

YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Review please!

-secretlycharmed13 


	7. Chapter 7

"Come on Kiddo!" Sirius yelled up the stairs as Harry walked down them slowly wincing as the loud voice reverbrated in his head, he had woken up with a massive headache and hadn't had time to begin his ladder once again, it was like a drug. It used to be when he didn't cut he was okay but it was slowly starting to ware on him now, headaches, anger, sadness, aches, and the most prominate right now the urge to vomit. "They'll be here- speak of the devil." Sirius said interupting himself as a loud crack was heard from the fireplace, Hermione emerged, followed by Ron, Mrs. Weasley and Ginny.

"Hey guys." Harry said softly staring at his shoes, he was angry at them but he knew his place all to well and didn't want them to be angered at him.

"Harry!" Hermine yelled relived and ran to give her friend a bone-crushing hug followed by a teary Ginny and Mrs.Weasly who was looking him over with a watchful eye.

"Harry dear, you are to skinny for your own good. My boy we should get you a proper breakfast right now, come along kids." Mrs.Weasley said taking action and bustling into the kitchen her plump form finding the right materials quickly, within seconds she was cooking up a storm.

"Sorry Mrs.Weasley." Harry murmered still looking at his feet, he felt like throwing up the minute smelled the food.

"It's nothing to be sorry over Harry, those bloody muggles should be the ones who are sorry. It's not your fault." Hermione said frowning, why did he blame it on himslef, and why hadn't he looked at anyone yet?

"'Mione's right mate, it's those blasted Muggles fault. Lets go play some quidditch!" Ron said, he had been informed of the large field before arriving and was more than ready to engage his friend in a friendly game of two on two. Harry nodded and dutifully followed Ron out the back doors to the large feild. Hoping every second that he didn't become sick or anger his friends.

Sirius watched concerned as Harry remained quiet and once again entered his shell that they had been able to drag him out of theses last few days, maybe he just had to get used to the added company and being back with his friends. Sirius focused on Molly who was now complaing to them about Harry's weight and how pale he was, Remus was spaced out and Sirius himself was about to enter a trance before he heard Molly yelling at them to pay attention. Dang, so close.

For an hour the kids played quidditch, it was Harry and Ginny against Hermione and Ron. Harry and Ginny won and Ron was furious cause he was beaten by his little sister. Ron had always been a sore loser but know it was worse, Ginny had beaten him! Ginny! His little sister he was yelling at them outraged before they all laneded.

"You cheated! Ginny you cheated! Or Harry! It was you! Teachign my little sister to cheat, no wonder you win all the time! Well lets let the little harry potter get away with cheating, after all he will defeat the Dark Lord! Pah! You are just as worse as him! You are a liar! Leaving us in the dark while you were here! Ginny and Hermione were crying over you! You were probably not caring about us! You probably didn't even realize the pain and hurt we were in, not knowing if you were okay or not! But you don't care do you! You never did care about us! You don't even know what pain is! The Special boy-who-Lives, never will his spoiled body be hurt or in trouble!" Ron had left the cheating idea a while ago, know he was taking his anger out on Harry about being kept in the dark, maybe he went to far but Ron was angry at his mate for making his sister and his one crush cry. He hated their faces when they learned that Harry was missing, he hated the sound of their crying that haunted his sleep everynight. He hated Harry for making them feel that way.

Harry was shocked, he kew this would happen, Hermione and Ginny didn't look at either of them he didn't know if they were angry at Ron or angry at him, all he knew is that Ron said he didnt' know pain, that he didn't know hurt. Ron was wrong! Harry thought with anger as he started shaking his fists balled at his sides so hard they were bleeding already.

"You. Know. Nothing. Of. Pain." Harry grounded out as ron laughed.

"Really? Then tell me you spoiled prissy! What is pain to the sacred Boy-Who-Lived?" Ron gauffed as Ginny realized this was going to get out of control to soon, she ran for her mom or Sirius, or even Remus. Somebody to calm the boys down.

"Pain. Pain is when you hear the screaming of your parents every night, pain is when you are abondonded at your birthday, pain is when you Uncle beats you every night just to hear you scream in agony, pain is when Cedric Diggory dies because of you! You don't know pain Ron! You will never know pian! When will you have to get up at four in the morning just so you can do chorse's, when you have to be in the living room at five thirty five at night so your drunk angered Uncle can have you there to beat every fuckin night! When will you have to start a ladder of pain to relive your self of the guilt! I killed Cedric! I killed my parents! More will die if I stay in touch with you but you don't leave me alone! You never do! You think I am as bad as Voldemort! I am worse, I kill people for no reason, they care for me and I kill then! You think you know pain? You had to live in the dark for three days! Big deal! I had to live in the dark all fucking year! I had to deal with the fact that voldemort was getting stronger and I had to stop him eventaully! I had to live with being raped, beaten, kicked, punched, whipped, and sliced! You want to know how I dealt with my hurt! you all want to know?" Harry asked laughing like a maniac through his tears he glared at the shocked group surrounding him instead of seeing concerned and suprise family and friends he saw mocking figures. "I cut myslef! Every slice represents my flowing pain, every slice of that cold blade through my skin shows how much everything is my fault! Look! You see what goes on in my not-so-sacred life! You think I am happy with my life Ronald?" Harry adsked his wrist outstrectched towards Ron showing just how far up the cuts went, almost to his elbows, some deep, some the same cut over and over again, some old, some fairly new. All showing just how far Harry Potter had sunk into the darkness. "Do you still think I don't know pain? Do you still want my life?" Harry murmered finally calming down with mental and physical exhautions he sank to his kness and cried his broked shattered heart out, imaging each tear was black from his shattered soul. In this moment Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Mrs.Weasley saw what Sirius and Remus had seent their first night with Harry, they saw the broken teen, who had a destiny he never wanted, a life he wanted to go away, a heart that was broken with grief, and a soul that was shattered to peices that may never all be found again.

Remus stepped into action, he knew Harry ahd been cutting himself, he had hiddent the knifes or charmed them. He walked up to Harry and picked the teen up, then walked through the crowd without a word and carried Harry to his room, setting him on his bed, taking of his cloak and his shoes. Harry by now ad passed out was whimpering in his sleep, Remus gave him a gentle kiss on his scar before murming gently, "We will help you my boy, I promise I will." stepping out of the boy's room Remus prepared himself for the talk with the crowd who was now gathered in the kitchen shocked and silent. Squaring his shoulders Remus walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. It would be a long few weeks. Who knows how deep Harry's pain went, who knows how long it would take for him to heal, who knew if he would heal at all.  
There, again to all my faithful reviewers I wuv you guys!  
Harry is becoming an interesting character, he is based on me and my firneds and our pain. Hope you guys are still with me, I know it took me a LONG while to update.  
-Secretlycharmed13/Katie 


	8. Healing, slowly

Harry wake slowly, letting himself get acquainted with his boundaries. 'damn!' he though as the past days events reached his slow mind. Nothing would be okay now, he had a perfect life, and he went and screwed it up. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw that he was alone in his room, he saw the sun going up. Heard and smelled the breakfast brewing downstairs. He found it a little strange to have nobody waiting for him wake up. Maybe he was supposed to go downstairs on his own? Harry thought to himself, he wasn't ready to face them, getting up he stretched his stiff muscles and headed to the bathroom. A good shower would help him, maybe.

"Remus, are you sure he should be alone?" Sirius asked for the billionth time as they heard Harry's shower going off upstairs.

"Yes Sirius. Let him come down when he's ready. You all know the drill, let him bring the subject up, let him work through it with us, DON'T push him." Remus warned Ginny, Hermione, and Ron. Mrs. Weasley had gone home, this was for the kids to work out with their best friends, and Sirius and Remus were closer than her.

"Right." The kids chorused.

"Hey, you hungry?" Remus asked caringly as Harry entered, his hair wet and his eyes downcast.

"No." He mumble walking past the kitchen and into the library. Ignoring them all together, they could talk to him, he didn't want to let them in, he wouldn't let them in. He made that mistake once, but once was a long time go, he was stronger then ever, he wouldn't let their hurt from him interfere in living in his world of denial.

"Well that went well, I say we just confront him, I mean seriously. We can't live with no sharp objects, he has already proved he can get them everywhere we can't let him stay were he is,. He isn't going to talk to us! He won't even eat!" Sirius yelled, Remus stayed in deep contemplation.

"Okay, lets talk to him, but peacefully, no yelling. You have already proved that doesn't work." Remus said, staring pointedly at Ron. Ron ducked his head in embarrassment, he felt horrible for yelling at his friend. Truly horrible.

"Harry?" Hermione asked as they entered the library, Harry was no were to be seen.

"Up here." A silent answer came, looking up they saw Harry laying on one of the shelfs, almost touching the roof.

"how did you get up there?" Sirius asked.

"The table." Harry said plainly, never taking his eyes of of his book.

"Oh. We need to talk." Remus said, Harry turned to them, everyone was int eh room, seating themselves around so they could all see him. Harry gave a little laugh, standing besides the fallen, rang in his head. Yeah right, He thought it was them against him, one side was his, one side was theres, he was out numbered and trapped, two things that didn't bode well with Harry potter.

"What's so funny?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing. What do you want to talk about?" Harry asked still in a flat plain voice.

"I think you know." Sirius said staring at Harry softly.

"Um. No I don't, you'll have to be more specific." Harry said, he didn't want to talk, and they would have to get over that.

"Harry." Hermione sighed.

"What Hermione!" Harry exploded, closing his eyes he took a deep breath, calm yourself down, calm down. "What Hermione." Harry tried again.

"Why...What...How...WHY ARE YOU CUTTING YOURSELF!" Ron exploded, not being able to find the right words.

"Because." Harry answered going back to his book.

"Because why, you don't do that to yourself for no reason. Believe me I know." Remus said, waving his wand he took Harry's book away.

"Yes you do." Harry answered.

"Harry, please, why are you doing this to yourself?" Sirius tried.

"What do you want me to say Sirius! What? Do you want me to cry! To scream! To come crying over to you and forget all about it and just stop! Just stop doing this! To bad! It doesn't work that way!" Harry said, staring at Sirius evenly, his eyes unemotional but his voice raising.

"Why can't you just stop Harry?" Ginny asked foolishly, Hermione stared at her angrily, she was asking for a screaming fit now. Ginny knew what she was doing though, she wanted him to scream, wanted him to finally feel.

"Oh, poor Ginny is thinking the world works so easily. Suprise BITCH! The world doesn't just stop when something goes wrong! This whole war is wrong, why don't you go over to old toms house and tell him to just stop because this war is wrong. I'll be laughing at our funeral. " Harry said coldly, sneering at Ginny.

"HARRY POTTER! DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO MY SISTER THAT WAY!" Ron blew up, his fists clutched in furry, the adults watched this interaction, letting the friends ruff it out to see if they could get to Harry.

"Why not Ronald? I'm just speaking the truth, remember? I'm a cheating bastard , the one who taught your poor sweet innocent sister to cheat in quidditch, remember?" Harry asked sweetly, his voice laced with disdained. If they wanted to break him they would have to try harder. His walls were up around his heart and nothing was going to break them. Nothing, he promised himself. Ron winced at his friends tone.

"Everybody leave." Hermione said suddenly, never taking her eyes off of Harry.

"What?" Sirius asked surprised.

"Obviously none of you have your emotions in full check, let me talk to this idiot." Hermione said, still staring at Harry who was staring just as hard back. Hermione climbed up on top of the shelf with Harry after everyone had left, sitting in front of him.

"So gryfindors golden girl is going to try to crack the secret of the Light's savior?" Harry asked, sitting up so that he was facing Hermione, both were sitting Indian style, a stare off between friends.

"No, the gryfindors golden girl is behind that door talking with her brother." Hermione said evenly she was ready to insult and tease until he broke down.

"Okay." Harry said, nodding his head, his face defiant, but his mind weary. "What do you want?" Harry asked.

"Let me see your wrists." Hermione said. Harry glared at her, trying to see what she was doing, they had already seen the damage, it couldn't' hurt to just show her. Pulling his sleeves up to the crook of his elbow he showed her his ladder.

"Let's start from eh beginning, why did you do this cut?" She asked, not making a single movement as she saw the marks he had done to himself, she was going to go over every cut, learning it's story, no matter how long it took.

"That was from when my Cousin beat me with his friends for the first time, I found the knife on the kitchen counter and made on cut, then another, then a third before I stopped." Harry said, ready to make his friend shy away after learning his secrets. She wouldn't' last for another two cuts, he knew it. To his shock all she did was nod her head and pull a vial out of her pocket. Laying down the purple liguid on his first three cuts, Harry was surprised to see the cuts diaspear.

"We will go through every cut, I will hear the story, and you will learn to forgive and spill out your anger, pain, and fear towards me. You will begin to heal today Harry James Potter, whether you want to or not." Hermione said looking at him in the eyes, her eyes showing not a hint of pity, or weakness. Harry knew she was telling the truth.

"Okay." Harry agreed, letting himself fall for the illusion that he could heal, that illusion looked so comforting. For four hours, Hermione sat there, each cut slowly disappeared, some going away after a yelling fit, after crying, after hits, and after cursing. When Hermione and Harry walked out of the library Harry was tired, and Hermione was pale. But what had happened was wonderful, they had become closer than anyone could have guessed. Without another word to the group of people Harry went up to his room, took a shower, and changed into his pajamas. He was about to climb into bed when he felt the knife under his pillow, he looked long and hard at it, he could feel it slide across his arm, he could heel his emotions slipping away. But something was different.

"She was right." Harry mumbled as he realized no anger was in him, no pain, no fear, he was feeling empty in a good way,. He had healed today. Not fully but he had healed. Without another word Harry walked out of his bedroom and down the stairs into the living room were Hermione sat talking with Sirius, Remus, Ron, and Ginny. She had promised to never repeat what they had talked about, she was just telling them that Harry had no more cuts and he was closer to healing. She stopped when Sirius stood up.

"Harry?" Sirius asked seeing one of the kitchen's knife's in Harry's hand. Harry ignored him and set the knife in frnot of Hermione, before he left he whispered something into her ear.

"It seems Gryfindor's golden girl has fallen, you entered my world, you entered my sanctuary today. You aren't leaving anytime soon Mrs, Granger, welcome to your worst nightmare. Harry said quietly but with a cold sneer, if she dared to enter his world, to defile his promise to himself, then she would hear it all, she would see his pain, she would feel his anger, she would realize why he relieved himself this way. He was half-way up the stairs when Hermione's voice stopped him.

"I seems as if the savior of the light fell before I did, I take you challenge Mr. Potter, welcome to the world of intervention, you have now entered my world, your heart, soul, and mind are mine. Your sanctuary has been violated, and I will enjoy hearing you scream at me, I'll kick your ass if you hit me again though." Hermione said, her voice cold and deceiving also. She would play his game.

"I wouldn't expect anything else from you." Harry said softly letting a small smile grace his lips before he entered his bedroom once again.

"He hit you?" Ron asked amazed.

"Yes, rather hard, of course I hit him back." Hermione said, before taking her leave. Leaving Remus, Sirius, on, and Ginny wondering what had really happened today.

Okay, and update for my readers! Sorry it took so long, for those who want to now 'The Elementals' is on pause, I might not continue it, but if you want to just ask me. Thanks for your patience and loyalty if you are still reading this story.

-secretlycharmed14/Katie


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